Haiku Hump Day Results! (For reals this time)

Damn this was a tough one! I'm doing the list thing, cause that's just how I roll. Plus, I want everyone to know how much I enjoyed these!

Mrs. X - (not touching the wet pussy one.)
The one that made me really laugh because I could relate to it so well,

Declaw all the cats!
"Inhumane!" say some. Well, fine.
Tell that to the couch.

Cat had many, but this argument against dogs is actually kind of a good one,

Dogs eat the cat poop
then lavishly adore you
by licking your face

Horrifically true!

Handsome's send ups of Cat were classic!

Stray rhinoceros
Beady eyes were just SO cute
Feeding dish issues

Whirly's montage to the white lizard...Woman, you just keep getting more interesting! (Plus you belong to a snake club?!?!)

JPX - our very own non-pet person apparently killed me with these,

Had some Sea Monkeys
I was so disappointed
Never saw the king

If I step in shit
I don't try to save my shoes
I throw them away
(this really had me rolling, picturing JPX throwing out perfectly good shoes, that just happened to have shit on them.)

I was also laughing with this one that had just that right JSP tone,

Most dogs gross me out
What's with all the ass sniffing?
Have some self-respect

Mr. AC AND AC herself were cranking out some great ones. My favorite from Mr,

Gandalf at college
He shit on my roomate, Brad
While he was sleeping

I FULLY agree with AC's take on birds as pets,

I don't understand
the "bird as pet" concept
life sentence plus poop

And she was thisclose to taking it all with this one,

we love cats too much
we celebrate "caturday"
every fucking week

if ONLY for the path my brain led me down picturing Mr AC and herself in their Caturday worship hats, bowing down to their Taiga shrine.

Then there is Octo's take on JSP's friend Armpit,

If your name's Armpit
Perhaps you have low standards
Because, well...Armpit

But in the end, dear readers, it was another Burt Cross inspired 'ku that ruled the day,

My Dad loves his pets
Yet trapped a hundred squirrels
And drowned their asses.

It's so terrible, and so true. Congratulations, brudder!