HHD: Results!

Wow, what a great haiku day, I love this topic! My favorite haiku topics are those that force Horrorthonners to reveal personal things about their life experiences and they didn’t disappoint with their (fond?) memories of school field trips



Things got off to a great start with this back and forth between Stan and JSP over a wet underwear incident,

Stan

Big JSP fight
Threw fat kid's undies at me
While I was sleeping

Underwear was wet
Eight grade murderous hatred
Worst roommate ever

JSP

I do not recall
The “Underwear Incident”
But I’m not sorry

It’s hilarious
And you must have deserved it
Also – it’s funny



Catfreek is only a few years older than me yet her haikus always sound like she grew up in a lawless Western town. Whirlygirl has the craziest stories you’ve ever heard before (believe me, she’s barely scratched the surface on the blog) but she was sad to tell me that she never went on a single filed trip in her whole life. In fact she said the haiku topic reminded her of that fact and it bummed her out. Back to the Cat,

Bus took a wrong turn
bad neighborhood, saw a whore
beating up a guy

We all took pictures
most exciting thing we saw
that bitch kicked his ass



I love these two from DCD - I read them to Whirlygirl and she chortled loudly,

Chorus exchange trip.
Toronto? Cool! Ten hour
bus ride? Pure torture!

Had the seat next to
the john. Ten hours of stink.
Sweaty geeks and shit.



I chuckled at Mr. AC’s psychiatric interpretation about the etiology of my squeamishness around ‘stumps’

Limbless plastic gimps
Start of JPX's fear?
Weebles equal stumps



I knew Octo was going to write haikus about Alton Jones! In retrospect this might be the only field trip that we ever went on together? Our teacher at the time was bitchy Nancy Springthorpe, who I hate to this day. What distinguished the Alton Jones trip form others was that it was an overnight trip. My kid is going on a similar trip next month (to the tune of $187!).

Alton Jones slogan
Was "you pick it, you eat it"
Endlessly funny

So many field trips
Back to Alton Jones, yay
Our box factory

Once at Alton Jones
I saw JPX drink cup
Of salad dressing

(it’s true, I did)



In the end I had to go with JSP for his perfect vitriolic summary of his field trip experiences, many of which I also experienced. To this day it amazes me that the people running places like Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, and the Salem Witch Museum don’t understand that despite their best efforts, no kid actually believes that they have been transported back in time and more importantly, these settings are boring, man. I hated these places and the gift shops were lame.

Salem Witch Museum
Death, torture, hysteria
All made tedious

How disappointing
Came here to see witches burn
Not courtroom drama

Old Sturbridge Village
The most boring place on earth
Let’s bring the children

Please sir, leave me be
19th century accents
Give me a headache

I’m a kid dammit
I don’t care for cider mills
Nor the Old Towne House

I dug AC’s Freudian interpretation of JSP’s hatred for Sturbridge Village,

johnny's too hostile,
proves reaction formation;
johnny hearts sturbridge!

For the non-shrinks, “Reaction Formation” occurs when a person feels an urge to do or say something and then actually does or says something that is effectively the opposite of what they really want.

Congrats, JSP!